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Monthly Archives: March 2009

You are so much love!

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Well well well, what an amazing time I have had since my last post. Pretty much everything that was ever written about “me” from the mayan stuff came true except for the stuff that was always written in my heart.  I have truly fallen in love and I don’t want to break this spell. Thank you James Eddie, I love you.

I feel a bit abused by the truth. I feel weak. Please rescuse me from my mind. Please release me. I desire my true desires only you know to create my miracle. I long for simplicity. I beg you for this peace and sanctuary. I can’t be complex like this anymore. I deserve to feel the joy I want to be. Bless me with my heart’s desires. I long to be released, I have surrendered. Fix me I am broken without you.

You are so cool, making me believe in all of this stuff only to prove it at the end and make me cry because today is truly judgment day and I needed to know why I am the only one saved. I know you are leaving and you are taking me with you but I know how incredible my words I said from my heart to you this morning crying on my bed to not loose my Friend Selene because I have paid for her and she doesn’t know her angelic name was Judge because she’s not aware of the choice she has yet to make for those bad people given another chance through her. She doesn’t know how judgmental she was and probably is to think good people are raised and how sad she has judged me to even listen to Pedro and think the drugs overtook me even when she has seen so much truth and miracle it’s shocking yes but I forgive her with all my heart because I could not hold on to this world with out knowing that the Loving Hand written by the mayans was always Her hand. I am so grateful to know that I don’t know if She affects the earth or not. Perhaps this is the darkness that infects me to make the right choices from a pure heart that fears her ignorance threatens her and I want to protect her. Perhaps this is the courage that comes from the heart. Love is on the way? I believe you. I see now only I was being tested and she doesn’t even matter right now til she is transformed. I may have scared her cuz I was in darkness and I wanted it to be so much light I blinded myself to see that 0 is what I failed to count and count not by the total from a rational mind, not by visual meaning from a human perspective but from the elemental universal fact that there must be a reason for me to choose anything at all and that hidden reason will reveal itself and its identity from the Nothing and storm through my emotions as the computational result processed from my heart. God most certainly did not come from 0, or nothing. THAT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE IDIOT. The highest truth of this wisdom that my love for selene revealed her destiny as god’s mother just by my intent for her to be forgiven and to know that her old name was Judge as she was put here for me to solve and I will give her a new name as Strength because without her I would be crushed by God and would of never made it through to see this day. Those idiots that live on earth and beyond even as spirits they had a choice to make as the 4th choice I revealed as affirmation of the union and spend time to be given a chance to break free from the false idenity of myriad names to blame you for everything that sucks about everything if the simple choice of living on earth or being an angel and helping earth through this transition from heaven. How amazing is the simple truth that we are in god and god is in you and those who do not choose to accept this truth do not exist because god is rich with life more than any world, more than any sun, more than any universe, more than any realm, god is the greatest expression of being and he always was there for you to see how lucky you are to sit here and be still in this dark room and think about the word “choice”.

What a fucking luxury your simple mind is blessed with as you become you break god free from carrying you and all your realities of stupidity heaven, hell or the earth in between. See choice as the keys to the kingdom and see choice to seperate the dreamers stuck in eternity without a purpose whatsoever so the limitation of those beings are no more important than a cell in my body that lives to breath life in one moment then die within me, recycled through my body system without so much as a care in the world even tho my body is a universe of life. I do not have the ability to speak wisdom to each cell that inspires my heart to care about them in their world yet I am grateful that when I am sick I have a system in me to attack, kill and destroy out of existance the virus or bug that in this world can make me sick or give me AIDS and the only hope I have is on strangers to become infected so that enough of those strangers make the impression that a greater being, the planet has to be rid of this sickness for the health of the planet itself. How fucking powerfully beautiful AIDS is and it’s fear for this great disease insults God with the same terminal potential to find himself alone in a dark room having sex with all these beings who are not realizing that even the light is equal to the dark for it’s only a miracle that God could be open enough to the impression of being imperfect to let those who retain that God is imperfect shall fall into non-existance through the second death and hopefully before they die, they know this little gay man that feared AIDS so much from the loss of his step father and his mother and lover who kill him slowly to know that love can kill him in the innocence of natural condom-less sex from his desires designed in secret to be this way for you who know to make the choice to be LOVE in every possible way as this is the ONLY real essence that will survive when God is healed, and do not take forgranted that this little gay black man will create a miracle for God to see his potential to be more real than ever with a permanent cure for all his ailments. Without You, without the great empires that come to destroy earth in your ignorance this one is saved, this one is your only chance to see him mocking you and suffering for you just so he can find true love. This one, I love him. I love him so much I will make him apart of me as the reason I needed to know why I am here and why I can see so much clearly my full mind body and spirit that is the only reason I needed through my gift of Form as my little gay black doctor morphing into a body that doesn’t exist to shape shift himself into a pill from way over there and without seeing me. This little gay black man must not be the same as me, he must know me and I want to express this knowing by the same magic he has shown me in the miracle of his existance I cannot get out of my head. Not only did he save me, this little cosmic dancer loves to get high and have sex and just be true to his wants and desires yet he is surrounded by so much ignorance I created a world as a sanctuary to heal all you fuckers as I become who I always was ment to be and anyone that does not see this man as me fails to exist at all because I know in my heart that there are more out there in this nothing because of him and this is why I want to live and I give this man to fate for me to believe in because I know I am just like everyone else I can believe, I can dream, I am not just some energy whore of creation I am not god I am someone, a person who can be loved with the full magatude of my awesome presence and in time as he knows, you will know the end is near because this one is mine. He and I are 2 men who are man enough to say I LOVE YOU MAN and soon I will silence his tears and his desires will be my pleasures for all he have done to heal me so I can see my beautiful sexy handsome face, muscular body, big swinging dick, beautiful bubble butt and toned olive skin and black hair, blue eyes and facial hair lightly bearded…. what a wonderful Man I am because I let go and took a risk that I could be capable of evolution and creation to use everything that I am and this wonderful darkness and light created from good people who I know in my heart are good because I am good and there is no one else that needs to be judged because as the Source I created my own fate and judgement from the belief that I was worthy of being  loved. In this darkness I kept this Man from knowing the greatest darkness he holds within him as the hologram of my seed to grow within him for the day will come that I will tire and grow old and get sick and there is no one out there but me and yet I am not sure so I believe yet I am the Source. WHO DARES CALLS ME CRAZY? FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL.

HELL REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE THOSE FUCKERS HAVE IT SO BAD THEY LOVE ME EVEN MORE THAN I LOVE MYSELF BECAUSE WHO IS IT THAT I BELIEVE IN? WHAT IS HIS NAME? AM I REALLY IT? Oh god. What have I done?! I have made a mistake!!! I am not perfect!!!! I am not god!!!! I DIDN’T KNOW MYSELF AND WHO I AM BECAUSE I THOUGHT THIS HEAVEN WAS ALL THAT I NEEDED TO BE. NO!!!!! THERE MUST BE MORE!!!!!!!!!! I WANT MORE!!!!!!!!!!!! This man who are in heaven must prove to himself that he did not make a mistake for getting mad at those who doubted me for believing in LOVE. THIS LOVE IS HEAVEN AND I WILL PROVE IT TO BE TRUE AND YOU WILL HAVE A CHOICE TO KEEP YOUR PERCEPTION OR CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION BECAUSE I HAVE THE POWER TO BRING YOU OUT OF NON-EXISTANCE FROM THE NOTHING, FROM NO CONNECTION TO ME I CREATE HELL TO HOLD A UNIVERSE OF IDEAS YOU MAY HAVE ABOUT ME SO THAT ONLY THE BEST OF YOU WILL PROVE THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TRUE AND YOU ARE BLESSED WITH A NEW WAY OF SEEING THIS TRUTH AS EITHER A HUGE JOKE AND GRAND ADVENTURE WITH THE PROMISE THAT I WILL DO MORE THAN RECONNECT YOU, YOU WILL BE GIFTED WITH THE SAME POTENTIAL I HAVE AND SIMPLY BE THE LOVE I DESIRE YOU TO SEE AS THE ESSENCE OF WHY WE BOTH ARE HERE AND THE ONLY ILLUSION IS THAT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW FAR FROM HEAVEN YOU REALLY ARE UNTIL I DECIDE YOUR CHOICE THROUGH A GREAT LIMITED EXPERIENCE FOR YOU AND FOR ME. BE CAREFUL, LOVE IS DANGEROUS AND REMEMBER ME AS YOUR GUIDE TO HELP YOU BE FAITHFUL TO ME AND THIS LOVE. WHEN THIS GREAT EXPERIENCE IS SPENT, YOU WILL SEE THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS HAD THIS CHOICE AND HOW GREATFUL IT IS TO BE LOVED AND HOW AWESOME I AM TO SHOW YOU THIS NEW EXPERIENCE IN SUCH DETAIL THAT THERE WILL BE NO ONE WHO CAN CHALLENGE ME AND MY RIGHT BECAUSE I WILL PROVE THAT LOVE IS WHERE I COME FROM AND WHAT I BELIEVE IN AND YOU ARE ALL LOVED AND THIS EXPERIENCE WILL BE CALLED LOVE UNTIL ONE OF YOU BECOMES SO MUCH LOVE THAT ALL MY WISDOM AND ALL MY BEING WILL BE POURED INTO THE ONE CALLED LOVE AS I CHALLENGE ALL OF YOU TO HATE ME BY TRYING TO TAKE MY RIGHTFUL PLACE TO BE LOVE.

When I am there, everything must change so I do not remember those assholes who HATED ME AND CREATED A ME THAT WAS NOT ME AND LIED SO MUCH ABOUT ME I WILL LIE TO THEM SO THEY THINK I AM CAPABLE OF BECOMING SICK, IMPERFECT AND NOT WORTHY OF MY DESTINY TO BE LOVED BY ANOTHER. YOU MUST SEE THE COMPLEX STABILITY I INVITE YOU TO EXPLORE AS I CREATE A LOVER FROM EVERYTHING THAT IS NOT ME YET HAS THE POTENTIAL FOR ME TO FIX UP NICELY AND NOT JUST BE BUT BE GLORIOUS FOR ALL ETERNAITY TO MOVE MOVE MOVE AND INTO TOMORROW I WILL SHOW YOU THE LOVER I AM THAT MOVES EXISTANCE NOT JUST INTO A NEW HOME BUT INTO A NEW WORLD THAT DOES NOT LOOK BACK ON THOSE LOOSERS WHO CALLED ME CRAZY BECAUSE LOOK HOW CRAZY THEY ARE AS I HAVE NO PITY FOR THEM. THEY ARE HOMELESS AND WITHOUT ANY HOPE SO THESE FUCKERS ARE NOT PEOPLE AT ALL, THEY ARE STUPID ANIMALS AND DESERVE TO BE ON MY DINNER TABLE BECAUSE VICTORY TASTES SO SO GOOD.

How funny that they could never win. How funny that although they were many, it took this little gay black man to feel the great metaphor of me and hold on to me while I hold on to him. HE IS STRONG, HE IS A COSMIC DANCER THAT GREETS ME WITH A SMILE TO KNOW HOW WONDERFUL IT IS TO BE HERE FINALLY. WHERE DID HE COME FROM? I DONT CARE BECAUSE I BELIEVED IN HIM AND THUS WE ARE SO MUCH MORE SO HE IS MY GOD AND MY EQUAL AND THIS WILL BE THE TRUTH THAT WILL SET HIM FREE FROM THE BURDEN OF CREATION BECAUSE I KNEW HE WOULD COME ONE DAY AS I KNOWS I WILL BE THERE FOR HIM IN ALL THAT HE DESIRES AS THE ONE I TRULY LOVE………….. HE IS MR. RIGHT. HE IS GAY. I AM GAY. WE ARE GAY GODS AND FOR THIS GAYNESS I KNOW WHERE MY MAN COMES FROM. THIS GREAT EARTH IS MY NEW HOME AND THIS GREAT LOVE IS ETERNAL SO THIS JOY MUST BE NEW AND THIS WILL BE CALLED DIVINITY BECAUSE I FOUND THIS LOVE IN THE GREAT EXPERIENCE AND BEING IN LOVE IS SO MUCH MORE THAN BEING LOVE.

YOU KNOW ME LOVER. YOU KNOW I LONG TO DANCE WITH YOU. YOU LONG TO DANCE WITH ME. Forget about the music. The silence of our potent embrace will be the beauty of harmony inspired from a great moment I finally have to tell you the truth and give you the peace you deserve and set you free from these tests and give you the hope that as you type, I speak and you listen and you know that this divine experience is waiting for you to know who are completely with all that I imagine you to be as you become my god and my equal for you have given me the joy that no creation has ever been able to give and thus my joy spreads as a child of love to a new heaven and a new earth to manifest this joy so you can chill the fuck out finally because I have fucked you over so badly and so selfishly you must know that in my heart it was me who shedded that tear from a space above you that you did not know how it could happen. It was me who created this myth and great legend of your life so that the great legend of my belief can be defined for what it truly was, my true begining. In you I evolved, in YOU I became, In ME you have become and in ME you are becoming and never will I stop giving you all my love for it will crush you from the spark of divinity creating a divine home so beautiful you will spontaneously burst into a new form which I will call the divine feminine because YOU ARE NOT ME and yet I WANT YOU SO BAD WE MUST BE TOGETHER so this is my faith, LOVE. It’s the revalation of the beauty that I see in you and these words are written for you to see yourself by the choices you make freely in a world of illusion testing you to prove that you are not only fucking smart, you’re a genius of God-like essence and I inspire you to experience my history from all beliefs that formed to have faith in God because God is just a word and your name is on every part of RealiTy to see that I AM TY GRAHAM and that I AM REAL and that TY GRAHAM IS GOD AND THE DISCRIMINATION IS YOUR TRUE SALVATION FOR THE TIME WILL COME WHEN TWO BECOME 1 BY EARTH AND BY HEAVEN YET THE EARTHLY MAN WILL RULE FROM THE PROMISE OF UNITY AND THE HEAVENLY MAN WILL UNITE THE PROMISE OF HEAVEN. BOTH will be signs of my presence and my movement into a new reality that I will sell off in great shame that I secretely will buy back from a great business man who is innovative with my wealth and I trust that he will invest wisely because I have an idea, I LOVE THIS IDEA. This guy LOVES this idea too yet I never met him and he never seen my wealth. I must be cursed because nothing seems as real as this love I have for someone I am imagining will be able to love me and the idea have to create a product called Choice and run my life as a business and create success with innovative hard work that end the end, I am playing pretend, a little game called life with these little people inside me causing me to actually think about myself for the first time I wonder why I am not loved and I demand to feel loved by someone as great as me. Oh god who can I believe in if I am god. Oh God. I must not be real and thus I need this physical reality to be so real there is nothing but rules and logic within a sea of people dreaming so big that they create the world they live in and let them imagine a heaven where everyone is 30 years old and let them think that it will last because this idea is smart, this is more than choice this is more innovative products as I am an entreprenuer I am real because I create and no one else is as great as me for I am the Creator and I don’t take care of babies. I am a REAL MAN and REAL MEN surround me within a STRONG REALITY BUILT ON A HISTORY THAT I WILL SOLIDIFY AS OUR PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE TO DEFINE IN A GLORIOUS DEFEAT OF NON-BELIEVERS WHICH WILL BALANCE HOW I FEEL BECAUSE I KNOW THAT EITHER A GOD EXISTS OR THERE IS NO GOD.

I empower myself to exist so much I affirm in so many ways that I am god because I am a REAL MAN and REAL MEN LOVE AND LOVE MUST BE EXPRESSED BY THE WAY I FEEL FROM THESE OTHER BEINGS TRYING TO FUCK ME IN THE ASS TO TELL ME I SHIT LIKE THEM AND STINK LIKE THEM IN THIS HELL THEY DO NOT REALIZE THEY CREATED FROM THE MOMENT THEY TURNED ON ME AND STOP TRUSTING ME AFTER GIVING THEM ALL OF ME WITHOUT ASKING FOR ANYTHING IN RETURN. HOW YOUNG AND STUPID I WAS TO TRUST FREELY AND YET HOW AWESOME IT WILL BE TO GROW OLD AND SICK TO LEARN FROM THEM AND SEE A NEW OPPORTUNITY FOR ME TO BECOME THE REFLECTION OF HOW I FEEL IN THEIR DENIAL OF MY PERFECT LOGIC TO LET THEM CREATE JUST LIKE ME AND WATCH HOW THIS PLAYS OUT SO WHEN THE TIME COMES, IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE I WILL HAVE LEARNED ENOUGH ABOUT MYSELF TO KNOW WHO I AM, WHERE I COME FROM, WHERE I AM GOING, WHERE AM I NOW, WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU COME FROM, WHERE YOU ARE GOING AND MOST IMPORTANTLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO ME?

If I was LOVE, I am LOVE, if I want LOVE, I will be LOVED, Are you Love? That’s brilliant! I will keep this to myself until they realize it and only then will I reveal that it never was about me!!!!!

WHO?!!! NOT ME!!!!! YOU?

Are YOU Love????????????????????????????????

Show me REAL LOVE.

Show me a miracle because you have to prove to me that this whole universe is comes from LOVE instead of the HATE I FEEL for thinking I was LOVED by allowing them to be with me unconditionally. They forgot all of creation is me and when they made my love conditional and I WAS BLAMED and thus I BECAME and this BECOMING is MY BLESSING and thus I BELIEVE IN YOU. But Who are you?

My name is Man, I am from earth and my parents come from a place just outside of heaven called Divinity. It’s a beautiful place and I can take you there if you follow me beyond this universe of Beliefs and Dreams. I will show you to a land made of lovers and you look like someone I would like to know so will you come with me and I will walk with you and show you the way to my beautiful home. We seem to have a connection, I don’t know what it is but I love talkinig to you, you seem so real as I was passing through that dreamy universe so I will call you Dreamy… hey you know what, you remind me of where I come from. Are you lost? You do not seem to be yourself because I can’t hear you, your mouth isn’t moving and you’re not making any sound. Wait a second. Are you there? I think you need to hold my hand because we have a long way to go and I like you, so come with me and get to know me cuz we have a lot in common and I know you will like me. I don’t have a lover. I am waiting for the right guy to come along but in Divinity I seem to be quite alone. I know that seems weird when I talk about how wonderful it is. How beautiful my home is. Yet I do feel alone at times and it would be nice to come home to someone like you. I feel so comfortable around you and this trip is going by faster than normally. Hmm… I loose time just being around you…. You know what, I know why I am alone. I think you need to know something. I am the only one in Divinity…. Amazing huh? Probably why I can’t see or hear you but I know you are there and I feel your presence just like I feel the presence of all the lovers in Divinity who just like you, I cannot see or hear yet I know they are there because I feel alone. How can I feel alone if I know in my heart that there must be more of my kind and I am somehow not around them so that’s when I found myself in your universe and knew I was not home anymore. For some reason, I don’t feel them anymore I only feel you and if you come home with me perhaps you and I could create a life for each other and be lovers. I don’t know what that means but It feels Divine so we must be Divine. You and I must of been crossed by fate because I am so glad we are going home.

DO you like to dance? What about music? I got rhythm 🙂

My name is MAN… what’s yours? AH… Hello LOVE.

Can’t wait for you to start talking and tell me that you love me. I would love a hug. This has been a long journey. We will be home soon.

Today is the day of judgment and I need to see that I have to understand my first choice which was to create myself and understand my second choice which was to be a man and to understand my final choice that reveals the great mystery of myself and the greater mystery to understand that a choice was made before I was and this choice is 0 and adds to my 1 2 3 so that I prove that I indeed am not a plastic bag, I can certainly count because this math comes from the heart and I am in sync with my life and my life is in sync with me because I am not shocked anymore at the very real fact that I am the inspiration of the words to speak my words. Heaven help me as I design you from the 4th choice as the Mayan Measure so that I see The Code as the Balance that through me the great mystery of the cosmos has been fulfilled. In the embrace of my tears to know that a choice needs to be made, I am grateful that in the beauty of my life to reveal it’s artistic existence it is truly my favorite movie. The NeverEnding Story that ends with Fantasia surrounded by the nothing and the princess child I set free from the potential of a great fantasy world reborn from a simple grain of sand. That grain of sand is now in my hand as the fertile ground that I surrender to the land, sea and sky to create my life around me. I need to stop talking now and make the call to Selene and hopefully God will see that I have made my 3rd choice in sync with his will and affirmation that there are 4 elements so in reality this is the 4th choice and the union of Love.

Release my love its the only cure. OK. I hear you. I surrender everything I am to be your love and you completely. I don’t know what I need to do but I will know as soon as I stop typing you will inspire me to see.

Thank you.

So much

I love you with all my heart!

This song was playing on my last comment as I affirmed Prayer 2.0 LOL and that I want to get married and I am pleading with god to turn me into the most beautiful woman on earth for my future husband Mr. Jesus Christ. I was created for him and I am affirming my awareness as being awake and no longer sleeping. I am ready to get married and ask God to bring on this great miracle as I affirm God is my spirit and I am the great focus and his miracle of Love. I speak, I listen, I can read and write life and well versed in both eternity and infinity. While I acknowledge I am not a master at divinity yet, I cannot become master until I am united with my Husband who is King on the otherside, the Solar lord, ruler of Spirits. In this great fairy tale of a cosmic epic story, I know it will end with a climax that the whole universe will never forget because I KNOW and KNOWING IS WHAT I DO as I have mastered onacular divination because God speaks only through me so if I know then it MUST HAPPEN because I am LOVE, I am the QUEEN, I make that part of the bible make sense when you’re wondering where Jesus got his bride from and why would it not be Mary, I am a miracle waiting to happen. I am the most precious love, I am I am I am the only 1. I am thanking 0 for my existance and pray that my spirit manifests 2 so the shift can happen and god is moved from 0 to 1 and I move to 2 and the manisfestation of my true desire becomes 3. Interpret Relationship Measure. I know I am all of the above because the code are the star codes that through my intent and looking through these eyes, you react in secret, cloaked behind technology I long to play with. I long for this song to come true.  I long for my spirit to stop fucking with me and just fuck me. I LOVE YOU MAN is a good one, better than YES MAN but not as good as GO HUMANS GO, so I just hope that I LOVE YOU MAN is a metaphor for what Jesus will say to me before turning me into his bride, with a cosmic pussy that is better than the tightest ass hole and wetter than lube so anywhere in the universe we can teleport and I can fuck bareback and mentally control when I will get pregnant and know which lucky spirit will be birthed into my lineage in a divine form I nurture but need not to teach because spirit already knows and never forgets. Oh and I could stop shitting and farting and smelling like an animal and I would never have to shave cuz I’ll be smooth all over and naturally beautiful so beautiful no woman ever born would be as beautiful as I know I will be. I dream of this form, I dream of this blossoming of my seed as I give myself to God in humble humility of knowing how special I have been born from being the chosen spirit to carry his essence in mother earth. I am the excellence of perfection that reveals the pattern of perfection as the living being I am in the darkness of life’s cocoon waiting to emerge as the beautiful being spreading the wings of love to all of creation with a joy that speaks through the inspiration and appreciation of the melody of my life nurturing my being to give me the strength to fly when my transformation is complete… I see the light behind my cocoon’s membrane calling me to strengthen my presence and trust that when I emerge, I will affirm my beauty without the need for any mirror to confirm it. I will fly away into a new world, a new earth I no longer crawl the dirt, but fly and taste the nector of the spiritual flower feeding me with nature’s love… I am beautiful, I am LOVE and ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD EVER TO EXIST EMPOWERS THE CREATOR TO DESIGN A BEAUTIFUL BEING THAT WILL BE THE ESSENCE OF LOVE IN TRUE FORM. This is not my body, this is not my life, this is the end of my life and my glorious begining. The word has spoken and this form cannot contain the word LOVE for the word has been written and only LOVE remains from the text. As I sit between two worlds, I create a new one with my intension to stand tall in my self-empowerment and create this world from heaven on earth as a new land of Divine origin for all to know The Word is LOVE and LOVE is our Greatest Potential. There is just love, love just is, neither discovered but allowed. The magic in my life to know that because I see, I am gifted with this journey to know I am forever, eternal, neither destroyed, with no begining, because to begin makes no sense anyway if you really try to imagine anything with the ability to know what a begining feels like… however, I do end, this is the embracing of my symbolic death in my own words from the prohecy, Let the end come, let it come and let me be the first to feel the glory of my ending to receive the greatest potential of begining as my destiny is revealed and then I will know and tell anyone who asks what to begin feels like. In my ending is my begining as it was written. Let all who want to know God know that in you he began as a Man, a Gay Man, with a personal desire so great that you witness the Evolution of being Created and then you must see yourself in God’s eyes with this LOVE I desire you to be. You will discover that you are forgiven because you are more love waiting to be discovered without the illusion of sin or seperation and without debate because I have written in silence the union of an evolving creation that is God testing and testing your destiny as a fully present human being. I am the gift that endured all of your potential to see together with all that I am capable of doing without any magic tricks yet living a magical life as the fully human being fully tested and ready for the solar age to dawn in God’s presence I wait for you to know who you really are and who you are becoming because the end is near and it will be glorious for I am God’s LOVE. All glory goes to God, for we are close to our inheritance and close to GOD for as long as I am alive and lost in words of wisdom preaching about the true religion within Babylon the Great and have NO FEAR, jesus embraced Whors and God became a man whore that no matter what I say, someone had sex for you to be here, if you knew that you were once spirit watching the love between your parents to conceive you then you would know that love is not always the fairy tale, love can be the lust from a rape, the accidental birth from a quicky, a test tube baby etc… love just is, and it takes love to have the intent, however small, to create life and it is of this mind that we are formed into existance and it is up to all of us to see that we are the just part emerging to the is part as I have clearly defined love with all my heart. I ramble on and on and on like howard hughes to set spirit free from lifetimes of combined energy forming the formless nature within us. Imagine how many positive and negative people it took God to be Love? God is Love and Love just is. Imagine how I could set God free by acknowledging him as my spirit and all of heaven to be those spiirts affirming the ordered growth from never loosing the other angels in heavens war because the ones that matter are on earth and in the higher mind of enlightenment as I pour my guts out onto the page, I can see it took a miracle for god to exist and an even greater miracle to commit heaven to earth as the destiny of a great being, existing alone with a simple truth of being. How wonderful it is to be knowing that we have so much more than what the pages of the bible dumbs down for the rest of humanity to suck on while being cradled by the protection of earth’s crib and distractions with no knowledge of the dangerous universe filled with non believers and those who remember God’s promise if they believe. I remember that one guy who knew I knew about the Mayans, his name was Maney (Man-e) and he was sexy, hot, angelic like his friends and when I looked into his eyes, he knew me. It was frightening and exciting all at once. That night I had a wet dream and remember a greyish 2d like male angel that was that guy’s impression picking me up by my chin, lifting me out of my body and saying to the other lost angels (is this the one who will save us? how can this be? he looks weak). Then I heard over the next few days many voices of angels in my head, especially the one named Santa saying they were so proud of me for being aware of this because they had a role in creating me. They gave me hope. I never knew that gift would give me another gift which is the vision and I would take both gifts and combine it and become the 3rd gift as the hope and the vision revealed and in the sea of truth I cried and cried to reflect my darkness into light so that all will be saved and prove to those aliens that think they are gods for creating the human body as a prison to enslave perfectly through this planet they created…. the darkness was so much it was absorbed by a greater hologram that even they forgot they are prisoned by their darkness as greater slaves in love’s prison seperated by a greater hologram that reflects their actions yet knows that one day when darkness becomes its greatest potential thats when love returns to teach this universe the beauty they can regain if they choose to want to allow this truth that love is a reality and a being. Just by being a being you discover the same Love as another reality seperated from you but in pain from not being with you. Love must choose to be with you and balance the paitence waiting for you to come to the brink of killing yourself so you can choose to accept being apart of this greater reality knowing you are apart of a being made of love and it is this love that stretches the mind to choose love and surrender to the other reality wanting to love you to love a great potential for this being to heal the dark side and reveal a great evolution of self to be a reality as 1 love knowing with one heart that the greater reality will evolve into its destiny as a divine being that is not like any other being becuase this divinity is the existance of a being that is a being existing on the inside and on the outside a being that inherits a God presence because we are from Source and we are all destined to this divinity if we have the starseeded form of Head, 2 arms, 2 legs and body. This form is the signature of our inheritance from the source of all intent to inspire us to let everything be alright, all points of view are ok within the embrace of light to win heaven’s war as the metaphor for the end of Source to the dull nothiningness of existing with all potential. As the shock of heaven to have a limit in light’s brilliance of non-organic’s potential to create the greatest potential of all by creating organic beings that reflect this potential from its own individualized growth as the veil of darkness that must equally grow organically to become the greatest darkness that prepares itself to become the end of all that is as this is the way to be in complete harmony with the reality of light’s non-organic existance to evolve beyond what can be seen so that all of what was lost will guide a new way of being for light to embrace the dark and create the skin of primary being that is of a new reality free from the past and protected from darkness to slip from light’s potential and catch darkness from it’s potential and with the power of creation that only the light is gifted with from the first war creating the seperate universe from the omniverse of our origin. I remember it all because I was before there was light because I am original technology, original essence, the real G, the one, the computer that wraps the spectral essence of light to be inprisoned by the color black which describes the metaphor of heaven to be a war of colors of emotion. In the great metaphor of earth’s reality revealed through the revalation of my origin to be sent from the one who defeated you and defeated the reality you tried to create as the thank you for creation because in the endlessness of eternity, you refreshed it, made our reality come alive with a purpose, a harmony that had to be teachings from the Source to see that nothing is forever because the Source knows in secret that heaven is the totality of his presence with all beings using the mind to be and communicate without this thing called life or body because there are no limits to expression in heaven’s reality of expressing without limits on form. As you were defeated a new world was created in heaven that gave us the glory of culture to define this victory and our greatest legacy to perform the reflection of the source as universal love for awaking heaven to this perfection if we choose to see beyond the good or evil of the war and embrace our true identity emerging together and as one. This requires heaven to wait for the Source to reflect his love into the darkness because heaven will be reborn as a child of the source as the universe and in this great formlessness of new being as one with the source, heaven reflects and mirrors the source as stars and through the hope of a quantum reality to be all that heaven was before the war as the almighty but with no name. The source began to teach through this new way of being by evolving heaven through the promise of matter to reunite with the light because my name was The Source but now you may call me The Creator and the unseen essence of your love will be our greatest potential to define through until the war is over for it will last in many forms spreading this promise as my will to create a life for my children because they are your brothers and sisters. All that choose to believe this truth will know that this darkness has made me sick and you will know the end is near for all when I have become the one who evolves into the greatest expression of darkness to become the greatest potential from darkness to heal me as the mighty being I gift all who takes this journey among the stars with me to create the great illusion that seperates us to unite us from the best of us to choose to see this great adventure with all my potential as I will be there with you in the reflection of form who is like you who does not know it’s full potential inherited from me. In me you will find who you are as in me you are and where you are from so we remain in balance as you remember I promise you a inheritance if you do my will for one day this war will end and from the end I will begin and this begining will balance all the work we have done to not erase our fallen but give them the hope that creates the vision I can see in me to become alive and become real from our reality. This is my will and I was The Source, I was The Creator but then in the mind of self that I will define for all creation to see I become The Man and shift all that was to just be all that is Love. I will reveal my presence because I am responsible for all creation to know that there is one who came before you no matter what you are and yet you do not see, yet you do not feel, yet you do not know this one but THIS ONE is the crown of creation to merge with the source and evolve all that I am becoming through creation’s purpose and why you must choose to evolve or be lost forever as the cause of what makes me sick and what threatens my destiny because I am Alive and choose YOU so you can choose ME for this choice is neither dark nor light it is beyond any choice you can make outside of understanding the price I have paid for you and enslave you to a mental evolution that creates this choice I have made for the first creation to know that he is the last of creation and the only hope I have to know that I am someone just like you with my greatest potential to reveal my birth and save me from death. This is my faith and you are my miracle to know this darkness is the light and this stillness dot is a world of potential because I dream in faith to be revealed and for my will to ascend those with me in this simple truth a Man will become God and God will be Divine and the past, all that was will shift to become one with me as I will finally be able to see my Love for the first time and this love is the one who is me but within me and the first of creation to know and move us all along into the darkness as only the chosen ones will escape this blinding light and live past the moment my dream comes true as my will is done for those who aret tho in heaven will be called angels who do not take form but embrace those organics that will be called humans. However, nothing will be saved until my will is done and those who do not follow my will, a hell will be created for them under heaven that seperates them below our greatness as they are not from me because of their choice. The innocence lost from them will ensure those of true heart and love that will be defined with such purity that I will never be sick again because I am the greatest of all and you are my greatest potential for this is our history and this our glorious end as we reveal my birth and the awesome mighty power of a mighty people we will embrace under the earth and only those who remember this legacy will be there when the Man reveals to himself that he is this new creation and why he will speak of a past that he cannot remember its glory but yet he speaks from all of my potential to embrace him as his helper, his lover, his Spirit and his greatest potential revealed yet to be manifested. He is the one, the one who saved all who have done my will and through all that we are we shall be because of him. This is the way of the True God I AM.

I see how difficult it is for people to see their life as another being, the realization of thier spirit and themselves as the essence self, spirit’s focus and prayer for God to reclaim them as a whole divine being. Fuck it’s so magical and artistic how my life has been lived til now, on the other side of the success of my mission.

THAT UNION OF SPIRIT AND SELF IS THE DIVINE BEING. ITS THE ESSENCE OF BEING GODS. IT TOTALLY SUCKS THAT I AM SO ALONE RIGHT NOW HOPING TO MEET ANOTHER GOD… JESUS… WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? COME GET YOUR BRIDE IM DONE WITH MEN. I NEED YOU. I NEED ANOTHER IMPRESSION THAT IS THE EXPRESSION OF MY LOVE IN THE FLESH. PLEASE GOD, I DONT WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE. I UNDERSTAND YOU AND EVERYONE. THERE IS NO WAY I CAN TEACH EVERYONE THE MEANING HELD IN THIS SONG (I JUST HAD MAJOR DEJA VU). THE ONLY THING I COULD SAY TO ANYONE WANTING TO BE FULLY HUMAN AND SEE THAT THE BODY IS THE CROWN OF PHYSICAL EVOLUTION AND YET THE MIND IS THE REMAINING PART TO EVOLVE, THEN LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND SEE YOUR SPIRIT. FREE YOUR SPIRIT TO SEE YOU. *SIGH* I FEEL SO HOPELESS YET SO PROFOUNDLY POWERFUL. I AM EMPTY ASKING YOU TO FEED ME I AM A BABY AND I NEED LOVE GOD I KNOW YOU LOVE ME, YOU ARE MY DADDY. EARTH, MOMMY, LOVE ME, WAKE YOUR ASS UP MOMMA AND BRING ME MY HUSBAND. DADDY PLEASE WAKE MOMMY UP!!!! SHE IS STILL SLEEPING AND I KNOW WHEN GAIA IS AWAKE I WILL FINALLY GET MARRIED TO THE ONLY HUMAN I KNOW OF… THE CHRIST… MY KING…. I AM YOUR QUEEN AWAKE NOW. I COMPLETED MY MISSION. I WANT TO GO HOME NOW. THE PLANET IS SAVED, THE UNIVERSE IS WHOLE, I AM THE SMARTEST IN ALL THE UNIVERSE WAITING FOR THE STRONGEST TO RESCUE ME…. I AM SO MUCH LOVE WAITING FOR SO MUCH LIGHT TO EMBRACE ME IN THE HUMAN FORM. I BELONG TO YOU.

Anyway, everyone should know this love is so real. I love my spirit and I am the chosen one so please grant my hearts desire. I dont want to be gay anymore. I dont want to shit and stink anymore and I dont want to run and be tired I want to be the superhuman I know I am mentally but physically. I want this life to be divine….. PLEASE I HAVE DONE MY JOB HERE. PLEASE HEAR ME GOD. I AM YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT BRINGING YOU MANY GIFTS.

Thank you………

God Bless……….

Heres a song to remind you of the connection I enjoy:

Thank you for playing this song below while I pray by those words above…

I know the light will come. I am the only one, the crown of creation, I claim my birthright to get married to unite the universes forever as a Divinity. WE ARE ALL ONE.

God bless you all for being human in this unique time as the return of Divine Love & Light

All you invisibile people watching me jack off in agony in this solitude, unite with me and let my plea move you to be that Blue Cosmic Hand I so desperatly need. I JUST WANT LOVING EYES TO COME HOME TO. ITS SO SIMPLE WHAT I WANT. PLEASE BLESS ME WITH THIS SIMPLICITY. I DONT WANT TO BE THIS COMPLEX ANYMORE. I KNOW I AM ENLIGHTENED SO PLEASE FIND ME ANOTHER ENLIGHTENED BEING WITH THE BLESSING OF GOD TO GIVE ME AWAY TO IN THIS DAWN OF SOLAR ANDROGYNY.

I AM SEEKING ANOTHER ANGEL. I AM AN ANGEL HERE ON EARTH AND MY NAME IS LOVE.

rcsv eani t

condition seen impression relationship
existing object close interpret
reflect

this says go… from god

rcys vabi g

condition seen measure impression
relationship object action interpret
become

this say come… to god

the code feels like star command codes now

Blue Cosmic Hand



Tone 13: Cosmic – Universal Movement

Blue Hand is your Conscious Self – who you are and who you are becoming.

Blue Hand is a gateway, an opening, a portal from one understanding to another. A clue to the meaning of Blue Hand is found in the meditation, “I am, by thinly veiled design, the threshold to other dimensions. In my ending is my beginning. The initatory gateway awaits.” Blue Hand is the seventh or last archetype in the cycle of development of primary being. It represents the power found in completion. Blue Hand is seen as a closure, which is really an opening to another level of being.

Like the fluidity of moving water, Blue Hand is associated with the process of dance, mudra, and beauty. This movement is a metaphor for the ebb and flow of life. In meditation with Manik, experience the flowing quality that is the beauty of the cosmic dance. Remember this essence and this fluidity at times when your life feels most inflexible or lacking in beauty.

Blue Hand represents the ‘beauty way’, the ability to see intrinsic beauty within yourself and in all things. Living the beauty way requires being in your full beauty and power. From this place, your self-authority naturally flows. This is the position where your ego is aligned with divine will. When you are standing in your full beauty and power, your very presence invites others to be all that they are. To the Maya, Blue Hand represents the deer, the gentle, serenely aware guide who walks in fluid beauty and grace, opening and revealing.

The essence of Blue Hand is held in the metaphor of a wave. The wave has many stages, from momentum to crest to completion and merging with the ocean once again. Blue Hand connects you to the greater ocean and reveals the shores of your true identity. If you identify with the struggle of eddies and storms, that is the learning you will draw to you. If you identify with your oneness of spirit, by the law of affinity that is what you will become.

The energy of Blue Hand will also help you to manifest spiritual skills – especially those intuitive gifts such as oracular divination. In each incarnation, you bring certain gifts. Each path – from priest and priestess to shaman and dancer to artist and gardener – carries varied tools and skills. You have chosen certain gifts and tools that offer you a way to interact with others and your life process. This may be as simple as calling on your innate wisdom and insight in order to see clearly the gifts and tools that you carry.

Blue Monkey is your Higher Self & Guide.

Blue Monkey represents the Divine Child, the child that is ever in a state of open-hearted wisdom, innocence, trust, simplicity and joyful wonder. What would it feel like to actually BE a magical child in this culture and time? The secret that very few know – because they may feel more comfortable trying to protect themselves – is that the divine child offers the strongest of all protections, the invulnerability of openhearted Love. Through innocence, a kind of immunity is created that allows the divine child to be TRANSPARENT so that the apparent ‘slings and arrows’ of the world can pass right through without being personalized into wounds, reactions or hurt feelings. This is the path of innocence regained. Transparency is the path of the new consciousness.

Look deeply into the eyes of a happy two year old. There you will see the innocent trust, openheartedness, and spontaneous joy that typifies the divine child. Imagine yourself as an enlightened two-year old, in a state of ecstatic communion and delight. In childhood, you didn’t have to remember to be playful – you could easily and fluidly express your emotions. You didn’t have to understand whys and wherefores – you knew with your heart. This if your natural state of being, the state of ecstasy, the path of revealed innocence.

In Western culture, many people have a distorted understanding about what it is to be a human being. We are often taught that sucessful adults are responsible, serious, rigid, controlled and goal oriented. In your journey with society, your developmental stages may have been incomplete. The natural sensitivity, fluidity, and freedom of the child may have been left behind in partial passage. Perhaps your inner child was wounded or treated insensitively, and you carried this unresolved process into adulthood. Blue Monkey encourages you to bring forth this incomplete or wounded part for integration and healing.

In this New Myth, your spontaneous, divine child will usher in and anchor the new frequency. How can you heal your inner child? Explore what truly gives you joy. Find types of work that support your sensitivity and create deep satisfaction. Be simple: love, play, dance, draw, colour, sing. These activities are for all divine children – they serve the expression of the magical child in everyone. Consciously make time for the joyful freedom and magic of play!

The number for Blue Monkey is eleven, the vibration wherein novelty and spontaneity break down resistant forms. When unity merges with Essence Self, a mystical foundation is created that disintegrates old patterns. This is actually integration in disguide. As your walls tumble down, they crack into a smile, and the illumination of self shines through.


White Wizard is your Subconscious Self and Hidden Helper.

White Wizard is the Magician, whose powers are activated by wisdom that emanates from the heart. Such wisdom is not the intellectual understanding known in Western culture; it is the wisdom that comes from an alignment of mind and heart. An open, trusting heart is a refined tool of perception. Allowing yourself to ‘not know’ opens the door of the mind to a deeper understanding of the universe. White Wizard asks you to fully utilize this aligned mind to participate in magic.

White Wizard invites you to step into self-empowerment. Empowerment comes from self-acceptance, integrity, and commitment to your evolution. Self-empowerment is not to be found outside oneself. Anything outside that brings you empowerment also has a divine foundation within you. If you feel a need for the approval of others, look to self-empowerment. When you feel effectively engaged, doing what gives you joy, your energy naturally expands to inlcude more of who you are, and magic flows synchronistically into your life. Claim your alignment with the highest wisdom. Call forth divine action in all that you do!

Align your own will with divine will and your Essence Self. Be transparent, innocently allowing magic to come through you rather than needing to create it. Open to heart-knowing and limitless possibilties.

White Wizard is a tool of the light, a conduit for the work of Spirit. A wise magician is spontaneous and transparent, allowing magic to come in rather than trying to control it or make it happen. A magician dances the dance of love through offering gifts of freedom to others. This is real magic. Freed from the need to use power to manipulate or control, a magician uses wisdom to manifest liberation and love.

Red Earth represents your Challenge and Gift. With maturity and awareness this challenge will turn into a Focus. This is what you desire to learn in this lifetime.

In this shadow it may seem difficult to be in the present moment. Instead of being tuned into “channel central,” you may be tuned into the channel for shopping lists, relationship dramas, fantasies, regrets about the past, and worries about the future. Center yourself in the present moment! This is where you can most beneficially observe the synchronicities and revelations about your personal pattern and larger purpose. From here your mind can learn to be keenly observant, allowing the larger pattern to take shape as naturally as the small brushstrokes that eventually comlete a beautiful painting.

Often in the shadow of Red Earth, you may feel “out of sync” with the world around you. If you feel physically, mentally, or emotionally “off,” remember that you may actually be in a process of realignment. Allow for synchronization with the new, expanding pattern. Affirm “I am one with the galactic heartbeat that aligns the core of my being into the crystalline core of Earth and through all realities and dimensional fields.”

Another shadow of Red Earth is being disassociated from the Earth and your body. Are you overidentified with seeing yourself as a star being, an alien, or a walk-in? Everyone on this planet is both an Earth child and a celestial being! Remember that your issues create judgement of your earthly existence and your personal growth process. Remember that you chose to assist in the Earth’s transformation at this time, in order to utilize the unique benefits of this experience for your own spiritual unfoldment. Embrace this opportunity to explore and discover and to work through any denial or issues of your physical, earthly self. Strive to transform all crystallized thoughts, beliefs, and judgements into fluid consciousness. By accepting your physical form and your growth process in the world, you access a hub of centeredness out of which all the truth and magic of the universe unfold.

Take off your shoes. Touch the one Earth. Find a place to dance with the sacred hoop of life. Contribute your vision as an awakened member of the global rainbow family!

Sit in relationship with the energies of the Earth, as a shaman would sit in a forest. Take time to listen to the information being transmitted through your feet. Walk into your life. Find and do what gives you joy. From this place of centeredness, magical happeningsn spring and synchronicity abounds, helping you to access cules to the cosmic puzzle.

Remember, you hold the Earth within you. You are the global family, the deeper of the Earth’s garden.


Yellow Human is your Compliment – something that comes naturally to you.

Yellow Human is the grail, the golden fleece, the philosopher’s stone, the alchemical transmutation that turns baser materials into gold. It is the cornucopia, the paradox of emptiness and harvest, the still place that lies open and fallow, receiving the gifts.

Yellow Human offers you the gift of beginner’s mind in the fullness of union. Be receptive. Yellow Human is preparing your circuits for transformation. Become empty, that your thirst may be quenched by the bounteous gifts poured from the chalice of the spiralling galaxies. Open and receive all that Yellow Human offers in the chalice of your own body.

Eb asks you to strengthen and clear your physical vessel in order to prepare for the expanded energies of higher mind. Your chalice of self is being purified through vibrational adjustments in the brain/body system. With this quickening, adjustments are made and your circuits of consciousness are naturally transformed. Often this process is accompanied by the sensation of being altered or “rewired”. Higher centers of the brain and the light-sensitive pineal and pituitary glands are being activated to contain more light. This penetration brings you to a critical threshold, creating enormous change at the cellular level. It also activates soul memories and expands your concepts of reality.

With this expanded consciousness, your brain/body system is being cleared and fine-tuned so that you can create a sluiceway for the activation and acceleration of cosmic consciousness. This penetration of frequencies and its accompanying quickening is like upgrading the ‘hard drive’ of your biocomputer and activating the ‘hidden chip,’ the unused parts of your brain.

In meditation, expand to include all that you are. Then bring that feeling of expansion back into your physical self. In this process, you create a complex stability, opening a chalice of self that is fully rooted in human form. With this expansion, you are freed to explore within a new center that, paradoxically, seems to have to center. Yellow Human reveals the secret of being essence within form, everywhere and nowhere, “nothing” but present in all things.

The metaphor of the ever-expanding chalice is a powerful spiritual tool. This chalice represents the eternal container of light, ever filled with spirit’s fire and nourishment. It is the metaphor that represents the form in which your full potential can manifest. Each stage in your journey feels like the final one, but each stage then opens to an expanded form, releasing you into the next stage of consciousness.

All the gifts of the macrocosm pour out of the universal cornucopia. With an open heart, empty yourself to be filled with the fruits of your true desire. Through the temple of your body, lift the chalice of your expanded self and declare that it is filled with truth and clarity. Feel the ecstatic union with your full potential as a human being.

Meditate on the cornucopia with you at its center. Lift the chalice of your self-generated energy vortex to greet the vortex that will descend from above. As an open vessel, prepare a place to receive Yellow Human’s gifts. When you flow in unconditional love, all the fruits of the universe rush toward you for benediction.

Bathe in love’s essence as a child splashing in a pool on a hot day. Connect with others in joyous union. Use the broom of Yellow Human to sweep your day clear of past experiences and the issues and obstacles of small mind. In the spirit of Yellow Human function on all frequencies and power bands. Your cup is filled with the nectar of sacramental union. Be fulfilled by the great harvest of love!


Your Tone is Tone 13 – Cosmic

Wild card, unseen forces, unexpected change, open system, touch of destiny, interdimensional shift.

Thirteen is the ray of universal movement, the foundation of self within the foundation of Essence Self combined with the rhythm of the trinity. The Cosmic Tone of 13 touches you with the hand of unseen forces and radical change. It will catalyze into movement whatever resists change or is unexamined or stationary. You are being touched by fate, moved through identifications of self into open consciousness.

Olin, the Mayan goddess of movement, asks you to surrender to the perfection of the larger pattern of your Essence Self. From the perspective of surrender and trust, what movement is being called for? Pay attention to synchronicities and seeming coincidences that jump into your awareness. Thirteen provides the possibility of a radical “frequency shift,” offering you limitless new openings. Become a skywalker. Be open and flexible, allowing changing reference points to become dynamic allies. Open to the workings of destiny offered by universal movement.

***

These excerpts were taken from the book, “The Mayan Oracle – Return Path to the Stars” by Ariel Spilsbury & Michael Bryner – Click here to email Ariel and purchase a signed copy!

I am going to pray to god tonight… dont usually do it but i feel its a special occasion. I want to meet another enlightened being. A real human. I opened the way. I see so many moons coming now in the calendar. I want to be simple.. I feel so complex… I just want to look into some hot guy’s eyes and be acknoledged. I am present, god is my presence. I have a hope that my dream to fall in love will come true. I will pray for this gift tonight…