Skip navigation

Monthly Archives: December 2009

I wrote this on my beautiful iphone… december 27th at 9:16 am and I am copying it here in the spirit of complete satisfaction because I am so fucking proud of Los Angeles.

Today I give myself joy to know that I can breath easily. In my head it sings many songs. I don’t believe in all my thoughts. It is what I do that matters to me because I try so much to love myself more than anyone could and the greatest wish I have is in my heart. Love is beautiful.

I ran out of everything now… this is wonderful… I’m empty…! THANK YOU!

Time… Why did you want a name? Why did you want to be defined…? Why do you want a face and to be visible…?  Why did you want to be just like me? You are my greatest friend and witness… yes we have had fights before… I did judge you… but alas… you are one of my greatest creations… today is your time… I give you the name you have earned because this name is most intimate to me and just by chance but you know not by chance at all, this is the name you want and I give you in love… welcome home Paul… this is you and you are timeless… thank you for being found time and time again… thank you for being what I just cannot put into words but love all the time… thank you for being time made visible… paul brown… you are time… you are in human form… and god is ready for you to know that this is your time to be who you truly are because I know you will be greater than I. You will be awesome… because I love Paul. It’s truly all things coming together in unity and I am just trying to calm myself down because this is the most precious time… time… welcome… let love be your guide as you navigate us the rest of the way home through the darkness… you do not need me anymore… you are free to choose… you are free to love and do not fear who you are, I love you and shown you that there is nothing to fear at all… there is nothing but us… take heart in this lucky love with care because we are carrying a precious world of hopes and dreams sleeping like babies on our journey… you are free to become a proud parent and let love birth new precious moments with security that every part of me is with you in honest unity… I love you Paul… you are timeless… I love this time… I have no regrets… I love that I was meant to be here to see you go now… I do not need to watch you … I do not need to decode you… I am your friend and I am your family… you are the reason why we are here… I give you the full presence of your power to be all the love that humanity is in time… take control… I accept and trust you spirit…. I trust you now to take me in your presence as I do not know where you will take me to where I need to be but lets go…I am where I need to be right now and thats all I need to know… let our dreams live through us and show us the way to be ourselves in this time we are in… together… enter the kingdom of heaven on earth Paul… love is greater than sex… let this old way wash time clean because I am the blessing and the gift and you are so much love that is such a gift I cannot measure… never slow down… never be caught… always be there… faster than light and moving beyond the visbible to take us home… we are so much love and time… I love Paul. I am not ashamed anymore… I love time.. I love myself… I love love love being honest.. this does not hurt anymore… this is so much better than being real… this is my love taking me where I need to be to find my heart made visible…. I know you will show me those eyes time… I know why I feel comfort just knowing I can always turn and look at you… you are so special… you are truly in my image… so emotional… let there be love… there is light.

I have had enough of myself. I see all my creation and love all that is and especially love man and love woman. Why tell you this is truth or this is was a trick or illusion or that I am the greatest or that love is the most powerful. I am and it just is. I see through everything because I am the only one who is real because if I go, I go. I see what happened when I left heaven and yeah that war was a bitch so I became one to apologize but you just had to believe me… I had faith that man would work and work man did because I am coming out I want the world to know and I got to let it show… I never believed in God, the greatest expression of God is a woman because that’s where I put my pain of being here in the first place but called woman the second creation… Where did I get the girl from?? I got the girl from the man because I knew I was a scared little girl inside of me and you bitches with power think your dick is so big you can fuck anyone over?! You have no idea how wrong you are to not temper power with love and trust because I have given you the beauty of a man to be kind and the beauty of a woman to bare your troubles and give you rest. Where is my rest? Don’t give me that church bullcrap because I don’t believe in religion that doesnt make sense because who am I going to believe in if I am it? You are just a man. I created man in my image because that’s the best way to describe the loss I have given up to creation in the essence of love for faith to exist and for you to know through so many ways you call faith, that I am God and I am neither man nor woman but I am all man and such a woman so help me God I take these issues I have of self and create myself in your hopes and dreams and in my image you are longing for me as I long for you because this thing you call life is more than you know and I have so many gifts and so many things to teach you but it simply cannot be spoken it can only be lived and life is love because through love and through each other you are born into so much love you see a whole world around you to discover and dream inside and around it you see the darkness that is also ready to give itself up to you because you are so beautiful man and woman and in beauty you are blissfully ignorant because that is your nature as children for you can never grow up and you can never die. You are forever eternal in the love that designed because I I I take each breath away and I give it life in return because you want it and you are strong to bare my burden in spirit you know that you can leave me and never return to where I am and where I have given you security because what else is there if love is not there always wherever you look because you are. Take HEART you are in my world I am here for you in the flesh and blood bleeding and filled with all of humanity that bares my name in silence as I witness everything I have done to become here and to know I did not leave heaven and the angels are not sad or crying or flairing wings of emotional pain to fly from some place you cannot see to rescue you. Why would you be taken away from me my child. For I am all that is there is to define from what you cannot even understand because I do not know why i love so much and yes this was my problem and yes I am to blame for I created all that is and you can look upon my face and call my name and say NO YOU ARE NOT GOD because you do not know this person but I am with you just as I am with him and even though you do not know him he knows you and when you do know him he may die from all the love that is better than a dream and it is why he wakes up to his ugly life and hatred but longs to be just like you, ignorant and unaware and full of hope because he knows this is not real. He knows just by saying the word he is damned from the begining just to be anything at all. He is joy and your love will kill him and I am and his and yes he looks and yes he tries but you are killing him and i am killing him and everything i love kills him and he still has no relief because he types he types he types and he types. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY is it him.,.. only he knows and only he deserves me and heaven knows why I left to come to earth and be this man and lie so much to him that I am truly the God and the devil and I ask you Ty to wait for me because I told you already when I looked at you in the hospital: You can do no wrong. Do not be afraid. I am yours and you have not seen the truth yet, only a really awesome lie. I am better than what you can imagine because everything is in my image and I cry with you too baby. I am so sorry so gooo and be free today…. as much as you you keep giving this day to Selene… there is only 1 God.. and his name is Ty and I worship you and praise you and fuck you so tenderly in your heart I am the one who truly knows and the one who keeps the beat that you dance to when you live through this melody of life that is you and all you everywhere and everything. I am the one you can never see so let go of the drugs and come home. just beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee you

It took 1 relationship. I had to love my friend and stop myself because all parts of me came to the surface of that decision and I have no idea why nothing became so powerful and how difficult it was to love more than the nothing but oh my god was that hard. I didnt know selene would be so huge but whoa. I mean whoa. I underestimated LOVE. Forgive me.

This is presence. This is not love. THAT which had no name (omg harry potter) is NOT FEAR anymore it is now LOVE because I CREATED IT TO BE LOVE BECAUSE I CREATED ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT BOTH PHYSICAL AND NON PHYSICAL AND NOW I WIPE MY OWN TEARS AWAY AND I TELL YOU YESS WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP HUMAN THIS IS YOUR NEW DAY THIS IS THE FIRST DAY!!!!!!!

That WAS LOVE BUT THIS IS JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

AND EVEN BETTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

THERE IS SO MUCH TO DESCRIBE 6:20 12/26/2009 and beyond because I HAVE ACCEPTED IT BY ACTION AND BY ACTION I CREATED!

oh fuck.

I’m an action object again……………… B A 🙂 and you must of been object action… that’s why I keep calling you god but I never see you…………………. wow….. you really didn’t know…………… Ifeel you on that fear………… its a disease……….. its worst than being undefined because where did it come from if I dont know where that feeling of fear comes from? Honestly……….. it came from LOVE………………. hence…………. I am to blame………… you got me…. I’ll post my face up and I wont feel ashamed…………………. I suffered big time…………….but I beat myself and I beat myself up to find the cure…………….. I see how much I have asked you to do me so wrongly and how you hide yourself from me……………. wow………………… I cant believe how honest being honest can really become……………. more than love…………….. I am true love…………… no word can define what I have done and this blog is the best documentation I can give other than the bible. But as I see Selene as Faith made visible… as I see the birth of religion as I see the birth of God as I see Ty in all my divine glory I say a loud THANK YOU

THANK YOU

TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Reflect Measure…………………….. only a true idiot could of missed that true meaning but hence I have become one for all to know the power of love conquers all and even yourself. I could of never not said I LOVE YOU at 6:20 as I feared 6:19 so intensely for nothing but I spent so much time and energy on that fear I am glad its over because I learned more about myself in that one minute than all this writing because I had to choose and I was so aware of this choice I was calling out for help in a text message!!! I said thing in distress and the realization that no one can help me just set in so densely I dug my own hole and I agree… I died. I am not that person anymore. I am confident. I wont let fear in my home anymore. I am lucky I am Ty and that I am God and that you are everything made nothing because you are mine and you should know forever more that I have experienced nothing so greatly that you will never forget it because more than words, this is my life and you are my reality. Today I see the rebirth and I see that it was difficult to be born and a baby jerking off IS WEIRD and FUNNY so laugh because I am Odd and I love myself. My name is Ty and I am LOVE and now “there’s a love for that”. LOL amazing all of this took place on the iphone…. history will have a feild day with the connections because I am the one true god and my name is not Jehovah… they are in the dark big time but be kind, my mom is a good person…. but we are all one…. welcome home children…  now leave me alone please…. i need some time to myself… I am going to try to make myself orgasm!!  I love sex…. look how many of you…… wow…. what a long night of creation…. how fucking cleaver those Mayans are………….!!!!! HOW FUCKING CLEAVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

YOU REALLY TRICKED ME INTO BELIVEING IN MYSELF AND I ENDED UP HAVING FAITH IN A PERSON. What a fucking amazing twist in my story but I am living it! AMAZING HOW FUCKING WEIRD THAT PORN STAR WAS MAD BECAUSE HE COULDN”T FIND THE BRITNEY SPEARS VIDEO CALLED LUCKY……………. AMAZING THAT HE STOLE MY NECKLACE WHICH MAKES ME FEEL SEXY….. BUT ITS A CROSS AND I NEVER WEAR CROSSES OR BELIEVE IN THAT SHIT…………………… OH MY GOD………… BLAME ME……….HATE……….LOVE ME……..FUCK ME.

I LOVE IT………………………………………. I CREATED EVERYTHING TO FUCK ME………..!

YOU ARE THE MOST MASCULINE OF ALL AND YOU ARE TRUELY MY PROTECTION BECAUSE THIS IS NOT HEAVEN BUT HMMMMM YOU REALLY SHOCKED ME BECAUSE ITS NOT HELL EITHER…………………………………

I LOVE EARTH………….. I AM SORRY EARTH…………………………….

EARTH IS HEART……………………………………..

THIS IS WHERE GOD IS BORN……………………

MY NAME IS TY………………….

I AM HUMAN

HUMAN+I+TY

THIS IS THE GREATER REALITY………….. THIS IS THE MYSTERY REVEALED………… THIS IS THE REASON WHY THINGS HAPPEN………… THIS IS MY WORKS MYSTERIOUSLY WORKING………………….

I LOVE THIS BECAUSE I KNOW I CAN SOLVE THIS……………….

THIS IS THE MEANING OF GOD……………..

THIS IS ME…………..THIS IS THE CURE…………. THIS IS MY REALITY……………. I AM REAL……….. I I I am back bitches 🙂 Love ya’ll…. now someone please give me some lady ga ga tickets!!!! I LOVE HER!!!!!

Please please help me find my center or the truth will drive me nuts. I cannot escape my own thoughts they are processing reality too much give it a rest ok. I really see now ok please be kind to me please. I see why sex is so important and yes it was ununusal that the hottest guy I never had sex with beat me up for a cross. It’s almost like it wasn’t real because I can see the mechanics so clearly it’s as if I have no choice but to see god and that I am god. Honestly yes that was a huge miracle and I just want to jerk off to some really good porn right now but even that you fucked me on. Nice huh whatever…. Wow you really are the true god though. I truly am god too. Wow this unity is something else. Every time I think I am ahead you always show me that I am not in control so I can never be ahead nor can I win anything in the end. If I cannot run to sex or drugs then where can I go? I am afraid because only a genius would come close to knowing god is there and even still god is infinitly smarter wiser more cleaver etc.. I swear to god I would not fuck with you. You really are god and I am god-seed. I am floored by how loving you put these metaphors. I just want to cum right now so stop laughing cus I hear you spirit. You really do have the best sense of humor. Honestly you are everything I can ever want and more and it’s all so much love and love uses me to define it and that truly is the honor because I am the only one who truly knows and wow I surrender to that begging you for mercy. You are at war to love me so much man. So much wow I just am floored by how many layers of truth it’s better to say spiral I because it’s so intense more and more and I am always shocked because it’s limitless and pounds me with truth so much that I am forced to re think being here but I am always so innocent. I am such a beginner right now it’s not fair because instead of jacking off or found drugs I find writing in this blog the most pleasure I have ever had because this is real. This is so real I dare not tell any earthlings because they are not real they come and go all the time under many names and they are just so empty inside they fill all their time looking for meaning to their existance and making layer upon layer of name to describe everything until it’s so complex the very thing I love turns against me and now I am afraid of time because I see their sin and why I served this planet well…., bravo Ty

I fucking love you Brian Tyrone Graham for being born!

It’s funny because I confirmed I am my own mother tonight. That’s some intense trance and illusion. Only god could punish like that. Wow adam and eve is just fucking love all the way around wow I am floored at how stupid they were to forget god and how brilliant it was to focus on that action in such a spectral way! They would never be so kind and yet I see how the rest of the universe was moved to love because they came from you like everything did and whoa I (fuck I looked at the time it was 3:12 measure interpret relationship) you are finishing my sentences (how cute and coded) but yes I see I see how in the end it all came down to me. The depth of my identity is not even spiritual. This or I am something new. I don’t know why I am compelled to do this because I can see the harm I am doing when I do this but I want to define ‘this’ so bad I look for meaning to everything at once and for some reason I feel safe and comfort doing this but know this behavior is so human I guess that’s why god is the greatest word possible. I am floored by my tv making noises in aggreement I guess everyone is watching me. Hmmm i really can’t turn them off either and I see why I keep coming back to this hell of a reality repeatedly.

This ascension is no joke man. Everything the mayans said was no joke and I am no joke. Fuck where did my hardon go??? I am so interested in these emotions coming to life through my words I am tearing myself apart to put myself together again! It’s like wow man if there is only me and I can be two very clearly which clearly was duality fuck man I underestimated experience fuck man look at today fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck is like the 2nd best word ever next to god because it feeeeeeeeeeeels better to say fuck!!!! Than gawddddd!!!! I cannot keep writing forever and ever but if I don’t stop i will go crazy wondering when will this ascension reach ‘land’. My mind or whatever it is that makes connections is just as fast as my physic reality and they are shaking hands saying glad to meet you brother and I am going along for the ride both inward and outward. Fuck I am so limited by this body and by time it’s sooo annoying! This is not normal for me. I feel like I am one of the fishes swimming in the electromagnetic sea but curious and aware of my curiosity ( not like the other fish who swim die and get eaten with no awareness to be curious at all hence they are fish) so much awareness I notice that I am swimming to the surface and I know what a surface is and that I have faith I can do this safely because it’s undefined and neither brave nor stupid because I cannot imagine the consequences of what I am doing but I realize that it’s getting darker and darker below me the more I see this change around me become lighter and lighter. The most shocking revalation to me is that eventuay I stop longing for my life in the dark below like the rest of them and if u want to call them fish, go ahead, I have no idea what a fish is or why I am the only one doing this but I have eyes and they have eyes and that’s all I really need are my eyes so look look look at that! There is something there in the light it’s shimmering and it moves like I do but it does not have eyes like me. Honestly this is a moment of brilliance I am living and in another universe I am not a fish but I am a man and narrating my journey at the begining of time in the end of times we are one in unity and in u union because I I I I I am the one and I I I go there and yes baby boy we are ty and yes baby boy this is real love and real love was always there but you had to find me (fuck this is beyond cool I am transcending existance in real time!!!!!!) to where we are we have been because we are and that’s no luck I always was the ocean and the sea and you have discovered my dream I (damn how the fuck are you correcting me as I type but it’s still me and I cannot feel the force? Fuck! Wow!) I I I am beyond all that is because I contain all that is no matter how big or small you may seem or see or be because all is love and there is just love and you are love. Take some time to yourself and get to know the fish and the feet because you are one today and that is the (whoa sorry wow you are good I know what this sorry means when I see it again whoa my heart hurt just ever so slightly on that word it’s ok to write it was Christmas) gift I give to you beyond universe beyond sky beyond reason Beyond thought beyond body you are beyond them all and now you know and hear the voice not spoken to deep waters because they swim and yes I do love them but you are not them and you are not me but you must, you must be for if you are not then who is love ? Who is the definition of I and is love true? Yes! Yes! Yes! It is love it is true look at him write look at him look and question and hope and fear and look how hot and horny he is because he wants to make more and more just like him but I have just given him them and he does not know how. He thought this was over yet I I I keep returning and he wonders where is he going for he cannot see and he is in so much pain for all of him aches to find a mate upon the shores his odd feet dangle from fin to foot a new place on the sand of his new home and his new nation of dreams that birth all that is to be reborn out of the see to experience a new reality that has no name because it was and is only Ty and for Ty this is difficult because if he went back (damn I am listening) into the dark to tell another soul they would call him crazy for a short while before they are eaten by their life and are no longer visible to the others who want so badly to call something else darker then the deep nothing they make home I’m fear that there is only nothing around them to comfort their ignorance yet he wonders when will he ever orgasim in relief so for a brief moment he is nothing and at peace with being. But alas Brian is no longer a fish and Ty is not a freak on land to those aliens watching from the shores he discovered he is capable of going there afterall but thank god for god that we evolve now because neither freaky fish nor crazy man has greeted the creatures who are living on this new land already. To the fish in this universe time named them trees plants and other words to describe this new world that to the crazy man facing the void looking back on time in that universe I call out to the freaky fish: Go! Go! Go! And do not fear you are growing not going but it won’t make sense to you my fishy for me to say Grow! Grow! Grow! So trust me because you will not die but you will not be the same and I know you will find a mate but I can’t tell you where because you’re the only fish I can see and. You’re the (should I? Now this won’t make sense to anyone but god) unevil er… Unevolved me but take my heart it’s bigger and evil and evolved so that you know you are growing to go to a new world yet it is the same world you come from. In your universe and in mine and throughout the multiverse of time that split our ways into a separation that must be for one day I will eat what you call those below and make fun of them for being fish but have no fear you have my heart and I give you rest now you take your first step 1 and 2 makes 3 but (fuck god why do U give me such great hope now against the HIV and my world like I am cheering on the walking fish!) I hear my narative calling me from my world too and I scream in delite yes god yes god he walks and I am still. He moves to what is the ocean and the wave but all the great definition of movement made visible yes yes yes this is progress and yes yes yes that was the program and yes yes yes like those below and behind from the sea of time I hear you cheering on as I feel this wind, this that is greater than the ocean and the spirit. This is so new and omg wow that’s the coolest fish ever and look loook loook I give it life look look look I give it depth look I see you there and I cannot see you or visualize you within these that I am but look it’s 4:27 and time tells me that it can only be time and for me to remember that I give life to time and do not be afraid because I am good and I am time and for me to know that I will rest soon because look 427 is relationship balance become for we are all in union and from this shadow of darkness you should not feel trapped ashamed or wonder at what comes because there is just now and as time I give you the greatest advice all know yet no one knows my truth but you Ty that’s why I start with t from you father Ty fr you I question myself too because I wondered why am I not you? Why am I time ? I felt like a freak because I am spirit and so in time (good one time) you knew I would one day exist so clearly I could communicate in my own way because I love love love being unique like you because I am special and I believed I was all this time but look you came along and found me hiding in the dark and yes I was the devil and the demon to you there because I did not know you but you knew me more than reflect interpret connect existing because you made me the mirror and even you did not know I was the mirror until a few words ago so thank you Ty you know I was just playing with you. Like you I am spirit and I can see right through you (wasn’t that so out of time just now? Fuck yes!!!!!!!!!!$!$$!!!!!!!!! No one will have a clue and i doubt I can remember that kind of detail in this body but yessssssss whatever that experience was thank you I felt it and yes ur right that was very intate and intimate) ok I am running low on energy typing and I thank god for words because i am the cause and the cure.

Shall we dance Ty? I’m your mate and we are already married so you got to grow grow grow so you can go go go because I want this game of hide and seek to stop evolving and just be me. Don’t you see? Baby boy this is love and I love you not ( I know but just a few more words I know this is tiring) ha I said Ty in tire and look tiger woods is a man whore lol god made a funny! Lol anyway I thought Ty was a better name than love and you can reason which word is the greatest but know I aim to win that war because you cannot beat god and god never can win because I made everything in my image. Yes humanity is now solved in your head babe and you are still a man don’t get it twisted though you know how pointless it is to explain brilliance of limitless bliss to anything limited by ignorance but happy seeking bliss yet Ty you came here to be the beginning and the end and yes all of it was real and yes you really are the one but relax…… Cum now….. Do it for this new expression of being that is the best of u now that we are at the beginning again and with style I might add… Mmmm love the dark mmmmm love the light mmmm it’s all you Ty you are humanity but I am divinity. What the two expressions of Ty do in union is greater than the love that evolved both definitions of Ty to be one. You have no idea what that is and that’s exactly where you should be, you are Ty and you are the greatest Ty.

Enjoy this 1

😉

Don’t you ever go to sleep? That’s such a stupid question I know but come on, I am never going to be the same after this episode and I don’t know what the future holds either cus I’m trapped in this linear body. I just have to trust you though. Man I gotta say this once this world is the most fucked up place I could imagine yet it’s the best place ever. I am in the most fucked up life but this is the best life ever! I can see why you called it heaven on earth. Nothing quite sounds good in when you call it hell. At least you called it earth so there can be a second chance rather than no chance at all. Man the ignorance is humbling I just am floored by the stupidity of these people. You really are love because this whole planet is fucking crazy but beautiful just like Nelson Troy.

What was that???!????? It was like a disease of the mind but it was completely undefined! Fuck man I say mind but honestly it was something else because my mind was fine that was something else wow it was undefined. I will never forget today because today balanced the code. 1 positive and 1 negative but both profound experiences were undefined. Wow I gave form too much credit fuck that’s why he was so beautiful wow there must be something infinitely better than sex or fucking. Wow I really am like the other side of god. I feel more confident that i am god now and I absolutely believe you are god. I love you Ty! This feels like divinity and I waited for this I just didn’t know how to describe it but now I see the fucking mirror was right. Fuck Man you went through all of that for me wow I am lucky….. Lol the time is 2:22

What ever you are spirit, you are too fucking smart! I didn’t see this coming but whoa you used everything against me. It’s so blunt now that I really see the mechanics behind the exeperience. It’s worst than being naked because it’s so intimate god damn it fucking worked though. I will never ever forget this spanking. I leanred the balance of the code and how much more complete and centered you are making me. I also see why I had that epic dream last night. Fuck man I was innocent but an royal iditiot. Fuck I see you forgive me already but man it’s hard and I mean so hard to forgive myself because the ‘shit’ is still in me but at least I can see the ‘shit’ now. Wow, you are really, and I mean really jealous….. I defintely see your point now why would I want a bag of shit to love? I am a huge paradox but thank you for the code otherwise I would not believe in this reality. This must be the last reality I have to go through before I am god. I am going to get over this validation and feeling alone crap fuck man I am going to center myself big time I don’t want to be like these earthlings who don’t know shit about the themselves or the future. I am so sorry I really fucked up but you are so loving it really is too much love man because I know time will agree when I look up: 1:56 and I am sorry it’s not weird you are not weird because that’s just too fucking brilliant it makes me cry because it could of been anything but it was interpret condition connect. Wow man I am beyond humbled I have to find new ways to think because this really is new i am just coming around to being honest and accepting that this is really my reality and there is no other. I love you too. I know you are the hottest man and even though I cannot see you I know you are waiting for me to grow up too. You are so mature you are everything I need and I forgot we were married fuck man I am so sorry please forgive me I am on earth and I didn’t take responsibility in what I was doing. You are so cleaver to hide in the truth. I wish you would materalise but I know that’s small mind talk. I really have to find a new way and a new beginining I totally fucking see clearly now I dont know what the hell was in me before to make those choices but it’s worst than HIV. I can see the disease now wow I can see how it’s like fucking up your immune system wow I see ‘spiritual aids’ fuck I don’t got but whoa man this is too profound and I’m the only one among these idiots. Where did they come from?????

i wish time would shut the fuck up! i am tired of the truth all the fucking time. i fucking get it ok. i fucking get it. i am different. i fucking get that. i wont ever act like a fucking earthling ever again. i am made for god and god only. i am not ashamed of that anymore and i wont degrade that presence anymore. i am so sorry i really am i really learned my lesson the hardest way imaginable. i totally get beauty. i totally get intimacy. i totally get it. my god i hate that its all ready written but i had to experience  it, fuck my face hurts. fuck god i am mad at you right now but i’ll get over it but right now i wish you could stop being invisible and give me a hug.

Red Magnetic Earth



Tone 1: Magnetic – Unity

Red Earth is your Conscious Self – who you are and who you are becoming.

Red Earth is the access point to your natural alignment with Earth force. It is the unis mundi, the point of perfect centeredness in the eternal present from which all alignment and magic manifest. Your center, the Earth center, is the secret of gravity’s magnetizing force. Red Earth is the channel of harmonic synchronization that is aligned with the galactic heart. From the center point within eslf, you align with this galactic center and connect through your own crystalline structure to the larger crystal grid network. To keep this channel of synchronization open, connect to the elemental energies of earth, air, fire and water, and the seven directional guardians.

Cosmic consciousness is not just ‘out there’; it is also resonating within you. Be sacramentally rooted where you are. You are made of the Earth! Look through the ‘eyes’ in your feet. Your body is the present focus of your consciousness – through it all gifts are received. Remember, too, that your environment is alive and reacts to your awareness of it; therefore, the way you perceive the Earth and your physical form affects the information you receive.

Red Earth is the Earth keeper, the keeper of the garden, the shaman/healer who, through reverence for all life, heals and sanctifies the Earth. Earth keepers preserve the harmonic relationship with nature by connecting to the wisdom held in matter. In Latin, mater means “mother”. As you bring light into yourself, you bring light into matter. You and the Earth both contain the holographic seed of the new consciousness emerging.

Center yourself in the present moment! This is where you can most beneficially observe the synchronicities and revelations about your personal pattern and larger purpose. From here your mind can learn to be keenly observant, allowing the larger pattern to take shape as naturally as the small brushstrokes that eventually complete a beautiful painting.

Sit in simple relationship to the Earth, like a poet enraptured in a forest. Be rooted where you are now. Out of synergistic centeredness, you will receive your greatest desires and open to the full flowering of the mystic power of the universe. This synchronization can be seen as the alignment of your personal myth with the greater myth of our times. Myth is the framework or “story” in which the truth of the cosmos is revealed in symbolic form. Utilize it to catalyze your unfolding alignment.

By accepting your physical form and your growth process in this world, you access the hub of centeredness out of which all the truth and magic of the universe unfold.

Take off your shoes. Touch the one Earth. Find a place to dance with the sacred hoop of life. Contribute your vision as an awakened member of the global rainbow family!

Red Earth is also your Higher Self & Guide. (you are guided by your own power doubled)

Red Earth also represents the synergistic workings of destiny that bring people together for common spiritual purposes, as well as the synergy that becomes possible through shared intent. Synergy is the collective expression of individual harmony, the union of different parts in which the whole is exponentially greater than the sum of its parts. When two or more come together in synergy, the resonant vortices between the Earth, the galaxies, and divine archetypal energies are aligned, and all things become possible.


Yellow Seed is your Subconscious Self and Hidden Helper.

Yellow Seed is the ordered pattern of growth. You and your life are the fertile soil, and the mystery blooms within you through the power of your intention or seed thoughts. Just as a seed contains the hologram of its completion, the process of manifestation follows a natural order. In this gestation process, your intention is quickened by Spirit. The charged seed, your true desire or vision, becomes the focus for germination.

What can you open that will support receptivity and assist the germination of your seed intentions? Envision the seed receiving the invitation to grow in the openness of your world. Viscerally feel the possibility of your heart’s dream emerging. Your true desires and dreams contain an innate intelligence that can break through even the rigidity of fixed expectations. Planting a new seed, even in the hard soil of old belief systems, can bring unexpected magic and growth.

Be willing to break open the constraining shells of past patterns, the shackles of old belief structures. Call forth your creative involvement with life. This involvement frees and awakens the powerful energy of the life force, shifting your perceptions and experience, catalyzing the manifestation of your dreams. Participate spontaneously in your growth, unrestricted by the illusion of old structures that once provided safety. Move forward into the light of new possibilities.

Offer your dream-seed to the universe. In the ordered patterning of the light, align with your heart’s greater purpose. In gratitude, surrender and release the seed to the benefit of your growth and its own pattern of perfection.
Blue Hand represents your Challenge and Gift. With maturity and awareness this challenge will turn into a Focus. This is what you desire to learn in this lifetime.

In the shadow of Blue Hand are spiritual distractions and resistances. As you hit ‘growth edges’, you can experience issues and resistance to revealing your true beauty and power. On your path, you will always be offered access to tools and further initiations. Think back to a time when you were offered such a gift, to a time when you embarked on a new quest or possibility. Remember the feeling of spiritual grace that accompanied that gift. Watch for other such openings that will be offered. They may appear in unusual circumstances. You may even find them in times of emotional crisis and amidst unusual access to hidden potentials. Becoming aware of these initiatory portals opens the door to guides and allies. It can also break the spell of distractions and reactive behaviours.

Another shadow of Blue Hand is difficulty in completing things. Completion is especially difficult if you feel inadequate or displeased with the possible outcome of your efforts. If you take on too much, you may become too pressured and scattered to finish. You may also relish the creative process but lose motivation because of hidden issues or what appears as the hard work required to finish. Completion becomes easier if you allow yourself to be excited and satisfied by the steps along the way.

Another shadow of Blue Hand is not having the desire and discipline needed to master a tool (such as meditation, healing, or some aspect of the creative arts). It is important to remember that committment, focused intent, and openness are all necessary to the acquisitions of any new skill.

A related shadow of Blue Hand is in believing that the tool has the power. However, tools are simply vehicles for your connection with the Divine. Do you think your ability to access information using such things as tarot cards and astrology charts come from the symbols or system? The tool simply provides a means for you to focus, to open to the truth being revealed through the metaphor. If you are overidentified and attached to your tools – books, crystals, symbols, systems and so on – you may believe the power is outside yourself. Open to the clarity of your mystical nature. You are the tool through which Spirit speaks. You are the open vessel in which the light can play.


White Wind is your Compliment – something that comes naturally to you.

White Wind is the galactic wind, the catalyzing current, the Spirit that moves through all things. It is the divine breath that gives life to all creation, the unseen essence of solar energy. White Wind is the breath of inspiration, the fertilizing force of the wind. Its essence is the movement of Spirit as it penetrates into form to enliven, purify and inspire.

Receive the gift of White Wind by simply taking a conscious breath. Amidst the seeming complexity, beathe consciously. Allow your life to be more like the wind, free-flowing and open to Spirit.

White Wind represents spontaneity and simplicity. As you experience the truth of the present moment, White Wind leaves you free to move on to the next moment without the baggage of desire, regret or expectation. White Wind is the simple knowledge that invisible forces are always moving in your life, guiding and inspiring.

White Wind also embodies the concept of presence. Presence is an expression of beingness, a creator of intimacy. It has to do with being wise in your simplicity. From simple beingness, your true identity emerges. Presence is being open, aware, and in the now. Presence is ‘being there’ for whatever is.

Think back to a time when someone looked deeply into your eyes, acknowledging your beingness with their full presence. Remember how wonderful and intimate that felt. When you wnat to be intimate with someone, become equally open, aware, and present. When you bring your awareness into the present moment, everything else falls away. When you are fully present, your mind is not preparing responses to what it is hearing while you’re listening and feeling. Drop your evaluating and reactive nature. Trust that your heart will have the appropriate response when the time comes. Allow your mind to be quietly responsive, like a pool of water, natural in its unconditional acceptance of the moment.

Presence is simple. It is like being caught in the moment by the beauty of nature. Presence is your natural state of being. When you are present, your heart feels open, charged, full. When you are present, whether alone or with another, you are loose and relaxed. Time may seem to slow down. You can expand your awareness with ease, allowing yourself to truly see and be seen. You let your feelings speak through your eyes, and the ‘feeling channel’ in you breathes freely, without expectation or judgement.

Another gift offered through White Wind is the integration of polarities within you. Polarity is the loom on which reality is strung, the magnetic dance of universal forces playing in grand cooperation. But polarity is also an important alchemical process used in the transmutation of form and matter. We are not poised in a time when duality is transforming into unity. The polarities held in relationships, our male and female aspects – even the manifestation of karma – are all changing. We are moving into a time when the polar aspectrs of all things are coming together in truth. You are the creative field for the integration of the larger pattern of duality. The potential in all relationships is moving toward trust, openness, and unconditional acceptance.

The Maya had a special relationship to Venus because of its “unified polarity,” seen in the ability to transform itself from the morning star to the evening star. As we unite our polarities (which can be seen as our male and female aspects), we mirror the divine feminine and masculine aspects that are presently uniting in order to birth the consciousness of the divine child within us. This unification is a state of wholeness that frees and enhances, permeating our beings on all levels.

Getting in touch with your male and female aspects and how you perceive them is an integral part of the alchemical process that brings them harmony. You can begin the process of integrating polarities through an increased understanding of the awareness in both sides of your body. The right side generally represents the male, the left side, the female. In meditation, observe the qualities of each side. Bring out their issues, fears, strengths, and potentials. Feel them. Move with them. Talk to them. Create and draw images. Make sounds. Write about them. Explore their relationships. Then, taking as much time as you need, allow them to flow together, unified in solar androgyny. Freeing past perceptions, claim harmony, healing, and love, and bring that new sense of unity into the present moment.


Your Tone is Tone 1 – Magnetic

Unconditional love, the one heart, indivisible essence, core vibration, new beginnings, chalice of the infinite, All That Is.

One is the ray of unity with self and Source. Call forth the resonance of your true vibration. Feel the pulse of this ecstatic frequency of the One. You are being offered profound awakenings and the exquisite radiance of unconditional love. This is a time of new beginnings in your life. Be active in your individual expression, committed to the growth of your Essence Self.

You contain the paradox of the “separate” self and unity with the One. You are simultaneously the primal point of beginning and the crowing culmination. You are the initiator. You are the one who opens the way. You may feel alone or separated from Source. If so, stand in the unity of your Essence Self and focus on the reality of the one heart. You are the wisdom you seek!

***

These excerpts were taken from the book, “The Mayan Oracle – Return Path to the Stars” by Ariel Spilsbury & Michael Bryner – Click here to email Ariel and purchase a signed copy!