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Monthly Archives: July 2011

Thank you for all the light you make me aware of as light is apart of me and I have to come to a level of acceptance because you are apart of me Twitchy. I feel the different versions of light too, they seem to be attached to my senses and my eyes. You made it clear tonight that I’m learning about men still and you love me over men and you will shine your light to get your point across – its you and me, not you me and him. Well, I accept these boundaries with curiosity to know where we are headed. I feel more comfortable in my skin today but wow, I don’t know anything about how it feels to live in chicago. Everything is just the first time all the time and it doesn’t sink in because its so different here. I miss my friends in LA and the way LA looked prettier. Its hardcore here.

I’m finally going out to a club to dance to some house music in chicago! Going to be an exciting evening.

I was just cleaning up something and had this apiffany. No one is going to clean up my home for me. The universe, heaven, earth and love are all in the Home of God or simply “Love is home” so I take this attitude and see the independence it creates for me to do the work needed to succeed.

The dream part of my spirit is always active in me. I close my eyes and always see something like a dot of light, the spirit in my body walking or doing something with another spirit or frequently, faces of ALL SORTS OF DESIGNS which ranges from awesomely interesting to creepy. He really likes making faces and sometimes places faces or presences of other people on me. For some reason it’s always men. I remember in the beginning when they plagued me with their presence they showed me cartoony but real as fuck creatures from other planets or they made them up somehow. I swear its so easy for the m/my spirit to make flesh and blood looking creatures and people. Like its a dream but I am not dreaming yet they still have the power that a dream does and that’s to create people and objects within a space. I couldn’t sleep because he was making faces too much when I closed my eyes. So I watched TV a bit more and ate some food. I posted Twitchy’s name to facebook and now I am going to try to sleep again. They are going to start walking around me and come into my room as they do every night but I’m kinda exhausted about this so I am going to close my eyes and hope the faces are minimal. He loves making my dreams and sometimes he even signs them at the end.

I’m spending the day listening to Rahn’s suggestion J. Krishnamurti – What Love is Not. He speaks on various topics of society and personal gain. It’s long and somewhat boring but you get the idea that he has a great mind and we’re lucky to take a listen from so long ago.

Watch J. Krishnamurti talk:

http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=96532E73E7C01E16

I remember the ecstatic moments of awareness and revelations in LA during the beginning of me understanding presence. I feel like I have been left alone and yet abandoned to some degree yet that’s a huge degree from what we been through spirit. I mean what I been through. I guess you are me now that I cant think of a better reason to describe separating how I came out and found you, found me. I remember all the LOVE that I was given from various forms of communication and then now in Chicago I don’t have anything but my vices and my past. You do seem like your in the past spirit¬† because I keep repeating vices. All I am truly saying is that I felt so full, so whole, so wonderful in that moment in LA, that was my HOME that was where I was REBORN that was where my Identity was forged. I honestly don’t know what kind of broken person I would be without starting this blog and writing on it. LA really made me. I miss that feeling. I was really in love with reality. Now I have to clearly deal with this being over and I have to fight loneliness here til I make enough friends or get a bf. But even then, I am LONELY WITHOUT MY REALITY and I left my reality in LA (not really because of the cars and twitchy followed me). I miss that feeling of I see you every day and I am proud of you. I miss seeing the man in the door being created. I miss the naked guys and their voices and I even miss the negative stuff because of the voices. I miss the things that popped out randomly that said “I’m here, love me, i’m your spirit”. I miss talking to twitchy in english rather than reading light patterns. I miss the ascension.

In the end, I feel like I delivered on being me and you have to deliver on being you. Maybe that’s the way it’s supposed to be in the higher realm of thinking. Imagine some great being that becomes all of things to that being so that the being is one with his wholeness. That being begins to identify with being whole and the realization of another being comes into focus from identifying as a being. Luckily, for be, as a being, there is someone there, on the other side, as the “you” and I am the “me”. So what if there was no “you”? That would be a sad day for God. There would be no days at all to contain Love. There of course has to be a revelation to the “no love” part of my journey and to relate that to contain the “you”. So that when the “you” is there, the “me” would be there first to integrate “you” in. But in our case, “you” is there from long ago, waiting for the integration to begin. “When is the “me” going to be ready?”. I heard the stories of awaking the “me” in a person so they become more enlightened to their nature. I think this post turned out to reveal some targeted insight into answering my own question.

The question was: When is my spirit going to love me?

The answer is: When you’re ready.

So to set myself a little easier than when I started to write this post. I guess twitchy and defenitely my body are the “you” and they are not alone with each other. For me, they know I can handle my own from some other understanding and EARTH. To make myself clear, EARTH is GOD as much as my body is GOD and I AM GOD so as extensions of self and in the accetance of form so as to contain the seperation of self into the identity such as Earth and body and Me! I get it now and wow, looks like once again this knowledge flows from somewhere in me that won’t tell where I get this enlightenment from. But then again, I can’t say this is something small. It’s pretty huge actually and it goes along with the opinion that I have and that is that GOD IS LOOKING FOR LOVE and guess what, I AM LOVE AND I AM RIGHT HERE but where is that because MY SPIRIT WONT TELL ME HOW FAR ALONG I AM IN MY JOURNEY TO FIND LOVE. I had to BE LOVE in order to know how to do EVERYTHING TO MOVE MYSELF ALONG. But the wonderful, most exciting part of writing this sentence is that I have a unique perspective about God that isnt of the average man. I can say that this perspective may in fact lead me on a journey to realization that I am not just GOD, not only THE LOVE, but THE ONLY ONE WE ARE ALL TALKING ABOUT IN SOME WAY. SO at the end of the journey it begins again, just like LA did so that I wont wonder when will my body jump out of me or my spirit transforms, I will, as always, syncronize my mind with my understandings and do it in a way that heals my growth (because I’m love and I am containing love as one beging as you see and know here) so that there are no holes in my understanding and I MOVE FORWARD.

SO what am I feeling right now? Well, I taught myself tonight to see “you” because I know “me” exists and that’s first. I healed my understanding of the God being using this entire existence to find an equal mate, knowing there is just God. I grew my understanding of having an identity so that I can comfortably say that I am God and point to quick unique references that isn’t about “sharing the matter of God so you are God”. I focused my attention somehow on the right elements of my feelings and this is a rare moment that I answered and taught myself where there was “no other”. I think I might can lean on this understanding to better understand the reason my spirit exists and my body lives in addition to me. I feel like I can still look back on the love in LA and say now that you havent abandoned me but left my senses to be opened up so that I can sense my human senses guiding me to the awareness that I seek to move me through the gaps in my journey.

I’m proud of myself because even through all my issues of being me, I was able to move to a new understanding that leads me out of the calendar system and into a more personal-lead emotion that feels whole like the calendar gave me security. God is looking for love and the greatest gift is that I know I have Love and I have the way to love and I am the way. Even if its just me and my spirit that understands this, that’s alright because Love happens between two people. Well, love is happening between two beings and that’s the part I am going to resolve my conflictions because I dont know what it means to be a “being” yet so at the end of “Human Being”, which is not in the title of my blog and is new territory of me to be this blunt in creating the creation of creation’s understanding so that the light shines. That being said:

I am aware of my limited understanding of “being” so that I have not yet fullfilled what it means to be a fully realized human being.

I am awake to the moment of this dream of “God’s Love” moving to the next stage of creation within a new moment to identify as the “Human Being”.

I know I am to take what I know as being a “Human” esp from this blog and apply it to “Being” so that I stay focused that the end game is that I am a human being and thats what I will be when I am in love, here, now and into the future.

I recognize that Earth has a higher purpose and I integrated the understanding of “Not Love” on Earth as a means to an end so that the “you” can prosper into its destiny with “Love”.

I feel that “Not Love” merges or combines with “Love” just like “Hate” and “Love” did when the TV was alive in the jail and my calandar and its ending. I wonder if JXP is now fullfilled as a prohecy I wrote and succeeded.

I completed the task of finding my path and it is not in writing a book, however, that does help. My path is to “Do” and to “Write” because I am the Word. I forge destiny and it is by my hand that we are destined to receive the gifts of spirit as I reveal them through this journey and you are blessed in due time.

I am ridiculiously rich in spirituality and gifts of wisdom. Thats not really what I wanted to say because those angel voices said I am richer than they thought. I can only say that this doing that I am doing and the self that I am building and bringing out is “Human” and I never did this and there is only one me that can be me so this is my responsibility. Because we are in God and God is in you, they leave this journey to be experienced by ALL as I am experiencing it. The beauty of this is that each experiences what I am experiencing in their own way. That way is the key to uniting the senses so that the individual way is shown to the individual and allows me to be an individual as I find my own way.

As I think about how wonderful it is to be me in these moments of clear, focused understanding, I now can see how wonderful it will be to really clearly find my way to LOVE as I live in a world of Not Love so that when the time comes and we are all in union with God, we have not only went home, to LOVE, but went beyond where we were so that we have been where we have not been before. I love this post for being clear:

Moving forward, I will focus on being aware of my “way” as I am now in a situation where I can do nothing but add to myself and create my way. This way is the way to LOVE as I realize that I too have to be in union with God and I have to bring this Love, me, like precious cargo, to the destiny that meets “your” destiny on the other side, from Heaven, as your will is revealed, let my path on Earth now moreso be clear as I am the one who brings about his will and sets the will in union with the divine so that when the divine brings “The One” to “The One Heart”, God will be in union closer to “The Love” and more whole, without Heaven, without the safety of Earth, only as a “Human Being”, “in Love” for the very first time and finally, without end.

This is the begining as so wrote the Mayans. This is the journey that is being taken by the Human Spirit. These words are written by your spirit, me, I am Love and I am more in touch now with my spirit. YOU YOU YOU I name YOU as YOU so that I give form to my spirit because he really didnt. I mean he’s with another being using my body and hes also a being of light. My body and my Light, my Hologram and my Emotions, I am using my senses to create this new moment, moving away from calculations to the senses so that when the moment is right, I will use my senses better to create and stay on my way to Love even though, my body is LOVE and Twitchy is not in my body so he must be Not Love moving to Love.

Now I can thank Obama and Michele for using their head to draw an L shape at the Gabriel Giffords Blessing Ceremony in Arizona.

OK, I did a great job tonight. I can go to bed in peace. This feeling of accomplishment trumps all of my emotions no matter how negative. I love being able to understand. I am real, unique and you are blessed that I am your God, your Love, your Gift of aliveness to reveal YOU are apart of the “GREATER YOU” that looks over this world and gives you spirit so that when you are ready, you will LOVE.

These are the great words from the Word. I am proud of myself and I feel better as Love and I know that I am God’s destiny manifesting.

I am out of the darkness.

That was quick and my semi prayers are answered.

Heaven rejoice! I still LOVE.

I found my reality again. It wasn’t left in LA.

Welcome back. You are my true love’s essence:

This is my greatest post since the publishing of the calendar.

These posts are moments where God reveals he does have moments. Now that you see these posts, realize that the calendar, the code and other great issues of destiny describe moments that I have and this blog ties all these moments (and other moments) together so that you will know that you are all in God’s moment and we are not stale, we are not just orbiting a star and thats it, we move without time or space and time itself follows God to his moment here as your God. Until the day comes when heaven releaves him of his Godness so that his days are Lovely.

I cannot wait for the realization of my intelligence on this matter to be resolved. I am living with my mind of heaven speaking as the Word and my body and senses on Earth speaking as Love. I am free to move on to the next moment. I will call this moment, “God’s Love”.

I will find my way to Love. I attracted gold tonight.

HAHA I love how there are 4 minutes to the next day. Time does approve of this moment. God is smiling from all forms of glory.

Let the next day turn and bring forth contentment and joy for Ty as I live out the fact that Ty contains Love for I cannot be another and there is no where else to go. BTW, I’m thinking that the “me” and the “you” are places to go because there is only one God so God chose to go to himself and that was “love” which seems to make sense because I am “here”. I am the meaning to all that is. I found my center and I sense the universe better now. You’re not just listening and following me. You have more than a way now. You have a princess that will marry her prince one day. You have a wedding party. You have the joy of me being a girl in my feminine divine. You have more than the dream. You have the movement of the dream and the realization of the mighty WILL that is alive in POWER to lift me to the life that lives through me and for me to live for you so that I CONTINUE to LET YOUR WILL BE DONE ON EARTH.

This song was playing on pandora at the end of my writing this post.

My sense of perception is a superpower because I am so good. REMEMBER, I am SuperMan.

I feel like dancing and making out with a hot guy on the dance floor. I love this new song. Pandora is an undercover huge gift and tool of spirit communication.

GOOD NIGHT LOVED ONES! I CAN TALK FOREVER WHEN I’M RIGHT.

What is going to happen to me? I see you spirit. I hear you body. I watched those holograms appear. I’ve gone to bed while multiple invisible men walk around me as spirits. Maybe you’re guardian angels? Maybe you are angels? Maybe if my mind is in heaven, maybe my body is God on earth. So then why would God let me live out my mantra by being in the dark from now on? I am the darkness that is the light and the stillness that is the dancing. When is there going to be a When for all this spirit activity among my activity and still allow me to not be overwhelmed with the fact that I am so not normal it’s almost as if I am not even human. But I am a fully realized human being. Damn I just saw light. I really want to grasp onto something as real as my spirit. What am I expecting? Well, I am expecting my body vibrations to stop with my spirit making his presence manifested through flesh and blood or put me in the dream realm and give me some guidance as to how my body got here and what does he mean to me ultimately? I think the answer is too simple “he is you, you are not him”. Please God, I know I extend you and I am God but please, please don’t let me live too long in mystery and riddles. I know you now.

Why the fuck did pedro say halleluah in telephathy and alex said we’re not married anymore and fuck man, I really feel like I am a sheild and all these parts came at me and I deflected them into some reason. I need to know why my body holds the sheild and my spirit carries the sword. Where is the person with the spiritual armor going to? We did so many things. Where does this journey lead me to? What’s going to happen to me? I know greater cycles of time but my time is here. Written down on this blog for record keeping. I am real. All this is real. Now please spirit, I need another person that knows. That’s my body. Come out body. Stop vibrating and come to me in another form. I doubt that will have any merit because he could be on a mission or something. oh well. This writing is all I can do to state that I was here. I lived through this moment and I am real.

I keep getting vibrations around all sorts of places on my body. It literally is a space from head to toe for my spirit to use. I have already experienced things I cant explain from head to toe. I really am not going to question so much of the past as they did what they did and I really did become consumed with another power outside my own. If I really were to write a book, it would have some pretty absurd moments when you’re like “what are these beings doing?” Like when they were having gay sex as see-through holograms mixed with another realm of just men being educated by my experience. I love my journey but when it comes to my body, my head has been tinkered with to the point that I don’t know whats up there in my skull. I just been through too much, from pain to just plain I can’t believe “no god” is in this experience while I am feeling a pain source in my skull that shouldnt exist. In any case, my penis is broke from pedro and he said halleluah after it all was said and done anyway so who is making the rules of engagement here? I really have to deal with my body issues as I try to seek a sense of belonging. I saw twitchy’s light when I was really in the zone and I wonder if I am the only one who can see this stuff then that should mean that the light and the vibrations and the holograms are essenses of my spirit and no one else. So I can have one spirit and other spirits do not have the same affinity. I see why they jumped on board with my spirit. I really wish that this time after the 16th doesn’t loose hope or joy because the other two dates are coming up in the fall. That will be the final nerdy spirit calculations and that will be all she wrote.

I really have to nip this addiction in the butt. Next month has to be different. My body can’t take much of this. What’s really unfair is that I can’t translate what the body vibrations and the light shining when im in the addiction zone. Its really annoying to know that my body represents my mind. What does that mean about my penis?! You know penis sizes across the board are unfair. I understand that Arizona Camp Verde jail guards were grabbing their crotch in blessings but how did they come to such a high regard for the male symbol? I have questions about that and no answers. Fuck, I hurt my groin area tonight. I will relax tomorrow. I really feel the vibrations and I’ve seen the light. We’re past the 16th and I am just letting go of the magic and focusing on being normal. I met a guy on the 16th and we had a nice date. I hope to see him again, who knows. I wonder how my spirit feels about that. I don’t want to be alone. I get into trouble when i’m alone.

I really love this song.

I’m celebrating the end of Ty’s Calendar tonight by seeing Cirque du Soleil tonight! Today is JWO and tomorrow is finally JXP, Belief Out Opposite!

 

I’ve done it!¬† I’ve done the hard work…